There are all sorts of excellent curses in literature. You know the kind of thing: pricking your finger on your 16th birthday and sleeping for 100 years… having to spend the rest of your life as a frog, or a beast, or a nutcracker… being obliged to dance forever or always do exactly as you’re told.
The trouble is, none of them seem to be terribly useful for everyday life. For starters, the difficulty of implementing them is considerable. You generally have to either be a witch or a wizard, or at least to be very good mates with one.
They’re also not particularly relevant to the modern world. I’m not sure I’ve ever laid eyes on a spindle; and very rarely do I find myself wandering alone in a dark forest, and I’m therefore really unlikely to come across an old crone, who then curses me when I refuse to help her when she asks me.
And then, they do seem awfully drastic. You’ve got to be really, really cross with your friends and acquaintances to want to turn them into hideous beasts, or stop them from speaking until someone declares their true love for them.
It’s much more likely that you’re just feeling a bit irritated with someone. So you need to have a few very mild curses up your sleeve: things that will slightly inconvenience people as opposed to turning their lives into one of chaos and disaster.
Here are some helpful suggestions:
I hope that you’ll find these useful. Either way, do please suggest some more of your own in the comments section.
Readers use them at their own risk. The writer accepts no responsibility for any unwanted effects.
I originally got this idea from an internet post that I saw a while ago that was based on the same sort of idea. I’ll happily link to it but I can’t remember any details that would let me find it. If anyone knows it, please tell me!
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Someone once hit my car and drove away whilst I was in the supermarket, I was so annoyed I put it on Facebook, someone commented on it saying “I wish diarrhea upon them”. I thought that was a brilliant curse
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Yes I like it!
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May your phone always go to voicemail just before you find it.
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Yes! Though that curse wouldn’t work on me because it’s on silent when I lose it.
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